Horoscopes for students in the Full-Time MBA Program:
Aries – Go get ’em, you fashionista! The partners at your consulting internship will admire your courageous sense of style and will emulate your choice of cutoff suit pants.
Taurus – You will find good use of Career Service’s final information session of the year: “Converting Your Internship into a Dreadful Summer Culminating in Tearful Pleas at the Feet of Your Manager, Begging for an Offer 101.”
Gemini – You will find that your Booth education has made you more curious at your new job as you repeatedly ask yourself “I paid two hundred thousand dollars for THIS?”
Cancer – You will find that Booth has lived up to its promise of transforming you. It isn’t pretty, but there’s no going back now.
Leo – While working on your new start-up, you will soon come to realize that what you thought was the “start-up bug” was just food poisoning from a giant burrito.
Virgo – You will be disappointed when you learn than your new coworkers are less understanding than your Booth study group members when you tell them that you can’t do any of your work because you need to prepare for a job interview.
Libra – Your banking internship will leave you thirsty for greater work/drink balance.
Scorpio – You will struggle to transfer all the charm you had at Booth to the workplace. Looks like you wasted all of your good nature and friendliness on the wrong people.
Sagittarius – You will not be able to use the words “I have to catch the next Metra” as a means of escaping unpleasant conversations with your boss.
Capricorn – You will be successful in all of your future ventures as long as you leverage your Booth pride and replace your company’s logo with the Booth logo on all PowerPoint templates.
Aquarius – Clients will reward you for the risks you take. Regrettably, these rewards will come in the form of flirtatious winks.
Pisces – Love awaits you this summer as long as you are honest with yourself and dishonest with others.
Horoscope for Evening/Weekend MBA students and PhD students:
All Astrological Signs – Summer will be just like Spring, except lonelier and sweatier. Also, your supervisor will assume that you have more time in summer and become twice as demanding.