Is Booth ready for a zombie apocalypse?

Humanity has been at risk by many troubles recently. Ebola epidemic. Islamic State. Terrorism. However the real threat for mankind does not come from any of these, rather from something that has been underestimated by global leadership - the threat of a zombie apocalypse.

It might sound crazy that a B-movie phenomenon could actually happen in real life, but there is a chance: a third of the human population has Toxoplasmosis, a parasite that lives in the human brain. Plus, every year the US sees around 6,000 reported cases of rabies, a virus that hits the victim’s brain and leads to violent behavior and loss of self-consciousness. What if a contaminated animal bites somebody and the rabies virus lodges into the Toxoplasmosis parasite instead of a human nerve cell? Then we have a victim of a disease that best resembles the classic flesh-eating zombie AND a parasite reaching a third of the human population - thus, a zombie apocalypse.

Unfortunately, this risk has been chronically underestimated. The University of Chicago Medicine had trained staff and established protocols for a potential Ebola crisis, but has not lifted a finger to prepare for a potential zombie apocalypse. Even at Booth, there has been no discussion whatsoever about what everybody should do in case the worst happens, therefore here are some tips to get prepared for the worst case:

Talk to the dean: the first step we should take is to create awareness of the issue at Booth and at the University. Therefore it is imperative to demand the formation of a Zombie Apocalypse Response Committee in order to design and implement initiatives focused in mitigating the outbreak risks and set up corrective actions in case the zombies show up.

Get supplies: if MPP was surrounded by zombies, do you think you could go to CVS across the street to buy more Cheerios? Neither do I. Therefore buy at least 1 month’s worth of supplies, so you don’t run out of these when zombies are around the corner. Don’t forget flashlights, batteries, and tons of water (you don’t think there will be running water in a zombie apocalypse, right?).

Study your surroundings: Harper Center has hundreds of visitors every day, which increases chances of being crowded with zombies. However, the building has several escape routes, so hopefully you have better odds to find a safe one in order to evacuate at a moment’s notice. Don’t run east, though! That’s where the Medical Center is - exactly where most infected humans will gather. Running north seems like a good option, as there is a well-armed secret service near 50th - just make sure the secret service does not mistake you for a zombie. At Gleacher Center things are trickier, as it is a more enclosed space and the building is in a dense neighborhood - too much mess to find a safe spot somewhere.

It is important that we don’t have a blind eye to such a threat, because if it becomes real, you can be sure that the odds are in favor of those who prepared well in advance. And if we all do our homework, Booth may be one of the few remaining functioning institutions after a zombie apocalypse - better this than letting a business school at other side of town get the job of rebuilding humankind, right?