BuzzFeed Quiz: Which “Porter’s Five Force” are you?

Instructions: For each "Yes" answer, make a note of the letter after the question. Keep track of how many of each letter you collect.

  1. If you’re a girl:  Do you use the ‘ratio’ at Booth to your advantage? If you’re a guy: Do you believe that your post-MBA compensation will improve your love life? (E)

  2. Have you ever offered to review cover letters for a fee? (D)

  3. Do you ask for a student discount on every transaction in Chicago? (B)

  4. Are you the first one to jump into a new line at Kovler, even if there are people ahead of you in the current line? (A)

  5. Do you threaten never to visit home if your parents take you off the family cell plan? (E)

  6. Have you ever threatened to hook up with someone’s sister in order to get what you want? (C)

  7. Have you ever threatened MPP by telling them that you would write a libelous article in Chicago Business if they didn’t reduce your rent by $350/month and give you a free DVR? (B)

  8. To recover from hangovers, do you save money by buying CVS’s knockoff brand of Pedialyte? (D)

  9. Have you ever attempted to buy a ticket to a Booth event secondhand for less than face value, thereby ensuring that the seller loses money on the transaction? (B)

  10. If you buy textbooks: do you frequently buy the international version?
    If you don’t buy textbooks: do you download them for free or ask other students to send PDF versions? (D)

  11. Do you spread rumors of high class bid prices to try to deplete others’ iBid accounts? (A)

  12. On a Thursday night, have you ever tried, repeatedly and unsuccessfully, to get into your apartment before realizing it was someone else’s? (C)

  13. When applying to business school, did you ever lie about a scholarship offer from another school to get off the waitlist? (C)

  14. Have you ever hooked up with someone after TNDC, even though you didn’t want to, just to keep another Boothie from hooking up with them? (A)

  15. Domestic students only: have you ever gotten excited when a job requires work authorization, and you know that the better-qualified international Boothies can’t apply to the job? (E)

Scoring:

Mostly A: You are Rivalry.  You care just as much as the other Boothie doing worse than you care about yourself.  

Mostly B: You are Buyer Power.  You try to use your influence to take advantage of vendors, landlords, or your parents.

Mostly C: You are Threat of Entry.  You will use a full arsenal of threats, some real and some fake, to get what you want.  

Mostly D: You are Threat of Substitutes.  Your checking account is king; you are willing to sacrifice designer clothes, top-shelf drinks, and the ‘pay it forward approach’ to pad your bank accounts.

Mostly E: You are Supplier Power.  You are a scarce resource and you know it.  You’re not just any co-chair, you are the TNDC co-chair that knows the power of bottle service.  You’re an only child that can get your parents to pay for anything, anytime, anywhere with the proper threats of withdrawing your love.