By Dean Kumar's Mustache
While I try to resist publicly boasting about my prestigious position, I wanted to tell all Boothies my story. You might assume that I have always been with Dean Kumar; however, my career path was not that simple.
My Previous Positions
In 1995, I found myself jobless, recently shaved off by an undergrad who was about to start as an investment banker. To find a new gig, I did what anyone should do. I formed a target list. I desperately wanted a job that put me in the public spotlight. The year was 1995, so I naturally looked towards my favorite clean-shaven icons:
Having won the US Open, Pete Sampras was a natural choice. Unfortunately, he never responded to my calls, letters, or faxes. But maybe it was because he resembled Saddam Hussein with me, not a great fit.
Fresh off of ‘Forrest Gump’, I thought he was a natural second choice. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize there was food on me the entire interview. I didn’t get the job.
Jonathan Taylor Thomas (JTT)
Jonathan Taylor Thomas was my backup plan. At the time, he was a late stage startup that was on the rise, so I figured he could use my experience. To my amazement, he wasn’t interested at all. Clearly, 20 years later, it’s because he’s a damn fool.
So how did I get here? After years of struggling, I realized that fame didn’t need to come from sports, movies, or sitcoms featuring Tim Allen. After looking at alternative sources of fame, academia seemed like the perfect fit. I reached out to some rising stars in academia and rest is history. So for all of you concerned about landing a job at your dream firm, just remember, you might not have met your dream firm yet.