Prashob Menon ‘17
“Oh em gee, I can’t believe I totally, like, won!” exclaimed Jenny McArthur, a first-year Booth student. Her slate, on which she was listed as President, had just won the GBC’s Executive Board election. As a former sorority member Jenny had named her slate “Give me a B!” believing that everyone would get the reference to both cheerleading and Booth’s grading curve (they didn’t).
As she informed her slate of the good news, everyone from the Executive Vice President down to the Vice President of Executives responded ecstatically. Jenny knew her first act would be to determine her key priorities so to help shape them, she called a meeting.
The newly elected officials filed slowly into C52 later that day, many after circling the C-level of Harper, as though in search of the Room of Requirement. Kevin, the Executor of Presidents, was already in the room as Victor arrived.
“Well we just lost 25% of our meeting time – Jenny’s running 15 minutes late”, sighed Victor, the EVP of Water Fountain Temperature, as he walked in. After the last straggler rolled in John, the EVP of Weather-Related Jokes, decided to say something that was weighing heavy on his conscious.
He breathed in slowly, turning over different formulations of what he was about to say in his head before settling with “Doesn’t it strike you as unfair that only Jenny is the President and the rest of us aren’t? I really feel like we need to disrupt the election process by making us all Presidents!” The sentence was met with silence as the team digested the idea.
“You know…”, Kevin started, finally breaking the silence, “I’d been thinking something similar. Why is it that, just because she’s the most qualified, that she gets the job?” Kevin pressed forward, his voice now swelling, “Instead of emphasizing that some people have more skills than others, let’s set an example that merit doesn’t matter, only fairness does!”
The gathered executives were now giddy at the prospect of each being named President and voted to make all positions equal effective immediately. They also decided to rename the role to fit the new situation.
At this same moment Jenny finally arrived, oblivious to her newly changed position. Victor walked up to her, hand extended warmly, and loudly announced “Congrats on the victory, Ms. Co-Executive Chief Executive Officer!”
Prashob Menon is currently training for the 2018 Quidditch World Cup.