What's News

  • First-Years begin furiously studying for the eventual B+ that everyone receives.

  • Study of Chalk system shows inverse correlation between user activity and job offers.

  • MCG co-chairs implement strict, emergency-only bathroom pass policy at recruiting events; members are encouraged to limit intake of fluids during recruiting season.

  • Donald Trump appeared uncomfortable and nervous in the town hall debate last Monday in his closest encounter yet with a room full of people not screaming derogatory chants.

  • Desperate second year student applies for McKinsey full-time position for senior janitorial associate; revises resume to focus on mops, brooms, shammies.

  • Non-Belgian Belgian Club co-chairs continue tradition of honoring Belgium with non-Belgian holiday celebration next week.

  • Hillary Clinton’s campaign employs a “simply don’t murder anyone or get caught doing cocaine” strategy to seal her election bid.

  • First-Year student with full SAT and GMAT scores listed in email signature still seeking Microeconomics homework group.

  • Locker rooms everywhere are rescinding their endorsements in the latest setback for Donald Trump.

  • First Coffee Hour with Dean Kole results in record amount of small talk endured, biscotti consumed.

  • CWiB grapples with Title IX lawsuit, considers allowing male members with longer hair and soft facial features.