Booth sent Apple a tuition bill for Siri, who has been overheard in multiple classes talking out of turn.
In holiday spirit, mugging victims have been giving a bit extra to their attackers in the month of December.
Students petitioned GBC to replace apples in Harper Center with Pedialyte on Fridays following TNDC.
Adult children look forward to watching movies with parents in silence, endlessly browsing social media over the holidays.
Republicans reignited the debate over whether the Earth is round or flat. The Heritage Foundation released research supporting the notion of a two-dimensional planet.
Man misses thrilling final episode of Westworld after his ex-girlfriend’s brother’s neighbor’s parents changed their HBOGO password.
Christian congregations are reminded to keep Jesus in mind during the holiday season; faithful wonder which color and style of Apple Watch messiah would have wanted.
Conspiracy theorists mistakenly protest outside of pizza parlor after “Illuminati” was autocorrected to “Lou Malnati” in monthly newsletter.
Chicago Business Humor Editor wonders if anyone actually reads the newspaper, publicly questions his extracurricular choices.