By Patrick Burke '17
The Chicago Booth administration announced today that it will offer students a new, mandatory incentive program tied to the aggregate Booth MBA rankings. Administrators collaborated with the Economics and Behavioral Science departments to craft the program.
“We believe it’s important that we tie our ranking to tangible rewards and punishments, and that accountability starts with the student body,” said Professor Richard Thaler of the Economics department.
An early draft of the plan calls for charging students for toilet paper and hand towels in all Chicago Booth bathrooms if the ranking falls by one place. All LPF beer and wine will be replaced with Diet Sprite and Welch’s grape juice if the ranking drops by two places. If Booth falls out of the top 10, the wireless internet will be replaced with dial-up modem connections and the grade non-disclosure policy will be revoked.
Similarly, improvements in the Booth rankings will reward students. For each spot that the school climbs, Booth will present students with a one month subscription to Private Equity Internationalthe Hallmark movie channel. Any top three ranking will award students with a laminated copy of Dean Sunil Kumar's seminal research paper "Performance Bounds for Queueing Networks and Scheduling Policies.” If the Booth ranking hits number one, students will each receive discounted color printing at all University facilities for one month and a Cracker Barrel coupon, redeemable at any one of the restaurant’s four Chicagoland locations.
“It’s more important than ever to stay competitive in the MBA landscape,” asserted Dean Kumar. “UChicago’s long tradition of economic incentives research has been invaluable in creating what we think will become a standard practice in our field.”
Thaler believes he and his colleagues have hit a homerun with the program. “We’re glad that we finally found the right recipe for this project, after our trial with shock collars was met with initial resistance.”