Man Vows to Keep to one Drink at TNDC

By Patrick Burke '17

CHICAGO - Chicago Booth first-year student Tim Roberts has vowed only to have one drink at this week’s Thursday Night Drinking Club, colloquially known as TNDC. Roberts, who recently landed an internship at a big-three consulting firm, said he has a productive Friday lined up.

“I’ve got a full day of things to do on Friday, so I’ll probably just stay for a few minutes and call it an early night,” claimed the graduate student. “I know my limits.”

An informal poll of Roberts’ close acquaintances suggests that he does not have limits. “I’ve never seen Tim not completely blackout at a TNDC,” said Judy Punch, a team member of Tim’s Commercializing Innovation group. “He says this literally every Thursday afternoon.”

“He always walks in and says ‘I’ll probably just stay for a few minutes and call it an early night,’” recalls Harrison Botsford, Roberts’ roommate. “Then three hours later, the lights come on and he’s the first one sprinting to Social 25, like it’s some kind of race.”

Attendance records from Tim’s Friday morning class reveal that he has not attended a single lecture. “Yeah, it’s been hit or miss, but this week is the week it all turns around,” declared Roberts confidently.

Despite not making a single Friday class, Roberts has a perfect attendance record at TNDC this year.

“Last week I saw him at Bottlefork trying to get the entire kitchen staff to do shots with him,” said Punch. “He was trying to speak to them in a combination of Spanish and sign language. He ended up taking all of the shots himself.”

“I don’t know that he’s made it to his bedroom on a Thursday this quarter,” said Botsford. “We actually had to get our couch professionally cleaned three weeks ago after he used his Dough Bros Pepperoni Pizza as a pillow.”

Despite his past, Roberts is confident about this week: “Just one Red Bull-Vodka and I’m calling it a night.”

Roberts is widely expected to win the Co-Chair nomination for TNDC this spring.

Patrick Burke is a first-year MBA student. His hard-hitting investigative journalism has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Canadian Horticulture Weekly, and the Hollister Spring 2009 catalog.