What's News

  • Apple enlists Michael J. Fox in new advertisement touting iPhone camera stabilization.

  • Study: Boothies think about drinking once every eight seconds.

  • Manufacturing defect leaves thousands of winter coats stuffed with live Canadian geese.

  • Breakthrough marketing research finds strong correlation between product price and quantity sold.

  • New student group co-chairs finalize travel plans for year-long power trip.

  • GBC plans to hand out fifths to a fourth of admits on third first day in its second year.

  • Consulting candidate adds “High stakes legal experience” to resume after watching entire Law and Order series.

  • MPP finally installs the slower elevators its residents have been clamoring for.

  • Ben Carson, Jeb Bush and Chris Christie request access to GTS for internship opportunities.

  • MCG considers replacing “no-show” penalty checks with public stockade in Winter Garden next fall.

  • Student outraged that he did not get class that others spent more bid points on.

  • Exhausted woman gives up on final squeeze of toothpaste, opens new tube.