Ask ChiBus: Your Questions Answered

By: Joseph Cherukara, ‘18

As part of our mission of providing information that matters, we ran a Google form on the unofficial Facebook group over the last two weeks to collect questions that you were two embarrassed to ask as 2nd/5th quarter students but desperate to know the answers to. Below is a selection of your questions and our answers.

What is ChiBus? Why are you spamming the Facebook Group?

As the oldest [Citation required] and most respected [LOL] business school newspaper, ChiBus (Chicago Business) has a tradition of publishing the most important news that affects Booth and the student community, or whatever anyone who passes the relevant editor $5 wants. The humor column deserves special mention - while others reported Paul Revere’s historic ride, we got an exclusive with his horse.  While the Washington Post blithered about lapses in hotel security in 1974, we covered the biggest story of the year, and indeed our history. “Beergate” was a massive scandal revolving around the machinations of the political elite to make a change in the Ida Noyes Pub timings and set a benchmark for investigative journalism in the country. In more recent times, our coverage of elections has received much critical acclaim as well as one Pulitzer prize for the 2008 social media quiz “Which Democratic/Republican primary contender are you?”.

Why do we have a historic rivalry with Kellogg?

Why? Why? Why does good hate evil? Why does humanity love freedom? Why did Harry Potter fight Voldemort? Because some villainy is too dark to ignore. Our hatred is driven by innumerable factors. Purple is a cheap knockoff of Maroon. Fluffy feelings can never compare with hard math in an MBA curriculum. A mascot called “Willie the Wildcat” sounds less like a lovable symbol and more like something from the Big Book of Innuendo.

Why is it called the “Winter Garden”?

The Rothman Winter Garden is to Booth what Winterfell is to the Starks -  the seat of our power, a bulwark against the forces of ignorance and a majestic, towering architectural feat. Most importantly, it is a brutal reminder that like the North in GoT, Chicago is basically an icicle that Nature occasionally chooses to dab a little green paint on . As you look up to the mighty arches shielding you from the harsh reality outside, you’ll probably think wistfully at least once about the Haas/Anderson admit you turned down. Stay strong! You may have lost the sun and the sand, but Booth is so much more of a better fit for you than a place where they have to learn what a Barista Jam is and wear lumberjack shirts and glasses so large they look like a meerkat everyday.

We’ve heard of Section X. Is there a Cohort X?

Yes. Little is known about them apart from the fact that they are invite only, laze around in The Geneva Inn sipping drinks with umbrellas in them while everyone else does low ropes during LOR and meet once a month in the Quadrangle Club to perform elaborate rituals before a portrait of John Rockefeller. The mandatory dress code includes a polo T-shirt, white shorts/skirt, a sweater tied around your neck and aviators. You can wear only pink on Wednesdays, jeans only on Fridays and CANNOT wear a tank top on two consecutive days.  

What is where on the classroom floor?

The biggest lie humanity has been told is that we are unique snowflakes that matter and that our lives have meaning. The second biggest lie is the “You are here” dot on the classroom floor maps. Attempting to follow the maps is a lot like playing Russian Roulette in Alice’s Wonderland. You could end up in the wrong room with nothing worse than being part of a behavioral study that offers you a chance at a bottle from Richard Thaler’s wine collection. Or you could be lost forever to that mysterious dimension where everyone’s name tags/ties/heels disappears exactly five minutes before the McKinsey Corporate Conversation.  

How did TNDC begin?

Every great tradition demands an origin myth. Unlike the Ancient Greeks, TNDC’s origins do not begin with heroes slaying monsters or people flying close to the sun. No, it began with the secret source of every MBA’s power, that magical sauce that converts us from engineers, analysts and lawyers to future titans of every industry - Excel’s Goal Seek. Specifically, with the first TNDC co-chairs who realized that with the flexible curriculum, the concept of the “weekend” was an ideal, an aspiration and not a set date. After some heavy number crunching, TGIF was replaced with TNDC as Thursday was the “optimal” day for scheduling parties after accounting for long weekend travel plans, midweek blues and the rare tryhards who insisted on scheduling Monday classes.

How exactly are admission results determined?

Like all business schools, Booth follows a complicated subjective system that evaluates each candidate independently and understands that everyone is unique with their own strengths and weaknesses. LOL, we’re just kidding. 10% GMAT score, 20% written application, 20% interview performance and 50% on whether a dart that admissions fellows throws at random hits your application