BREAKING: Interim Dean Skinner Takes First Breath in Over 8 Months

By: Patrick Burke, ‘17

Interim Dean Doug Skinner took his first full breath of air today after nearly eight months of anxiously awaiting his replacement as leader of Chicago Booth. Skinner was reportedly heard breathing inside his office for the first time this morning when the announcement came that Madhav Rajan would take the top post at the esteemed business school.

“Thank god they found someone,” said Skinner, exasperatedly. “I was starting to wonder how long I could keep up this job.”

Skinner was appointed as Interim Dean in August of 2016 by the University of Chicago while a replacement was found for Sunil Kumar after his untimely departure. Individuals close to Skinner say he began taking shallow breaths when he learned of his appointment, ultimately ceasing respiration entirely by mid-August.

Friends and family are said to be delighted that Skinner will be able to resume normal activities again that require breathing. Skinner is said to be doing well and will make a full recovery from his interim post.

We will update this developing story throughout the day.