By Joe and Joan of Snark
Your one definitive source for all happenings @Booth, your fount of knowledge for all things important @Harper (let’s face it, nothing of import happens at Gleacher). The poison quill is entering the journalistic foray in full force - spitting venom and drawing blood as it scratches ink on paper. Brought to you by Joe and Joan of Snark ([Arc], we know you didn’t get the reference), we promise to rankle and entertain. All puns intended, no apologies given, all references to the living people and zombies at Booth are completely intentional – if we offend you, please send your grievances to @channel all-students or DM @lukas-ruiz (no difference, really). For this week’s mind-stretching analysis on Slack, First Day and MCG gossip (aka, the sum of the Booth experience), read on.
‘You deprive me of solitude, without affording me company’ – @channel Slack
By far, the most exciting show on Booth TV right now. A real-life Thrilla in Manilla, a battle of the Classes with fine people on both sides. A hypothetical conversation snippet capturing the essence of this jaw-breaking GoT competitor – The Real Nerdlives of Chicagoland – that all of Booth had tuned into is presented below.
‘There I was, a shadow of my former self, club privileges handed over, the allure of ‘taking three free’ fading faster than the soul of a ring-bearer, 7-11 morphing from being a convenience chain to my working hours. And you, you the rising second year with a secure internship, feudal lord of a small fiefdom, having the best time hard-selling Booth like a car salesman from an 80's movie. Dare you then, to alert us all to your revelry, dare you shake us out of our ennui, dare you @channel?’
‘But why use "Avada Kedavara" when "Expelliarmus" would have sufficed? You unleashed us all – the first years – bang in the middle of a highly levered 2-year holiday, drunk on signed internship contracts, fresh from life-affirming adventures in the Latin Americas. We have decided to stand up for the rights of men.’
The rest is history.
‘Are you lonesome tonight?’ – First Day @Harper/Mothers/Trolleys wherever
Moving on to the revelry this past week. One hundred first years preyed on surveyed the incoming talent. Will and Pri’s instructions on the ‘which B-school’ decision was detailed, but the common consensus was that the skills required to get into B-school were very different from those that made you fit to attend.
To all 1Ys who didn’t make the cut this past week, there’s always Round 3. The yield machine rolls on.
MCG Spring Flings
To end with some old-fashioned gossip, because MCG clearly has nothing do in the spring:
Two MCG co-chairs, both female, both engaged, ahem…seem to have the biggest girl crushes on each other…what's cooking ladies, how will you ever find all those sweet consulting aspirants if you're too busy running a mutual admiration society? Well…to have consulting aspirants, you first need that yield, *nudge nudge*
And that’s a wrap. We’ll be back if we haven’t been stoned to death, ancient-Rome-direct-democracy style. Xoxo.