GSB News Articles
GSB Rocked by Allegations of Accounting Irregularities
Construction of New Campus Put on Hold -- Community Outraged
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Speaking on condition of anonymity, a senior source within the University Budget Office has leaked to ChiBus details of an investigation of accounting irregularities in GSB financial statements dating to as far back as 1997.
"Baghdad Bob" to Replace Don Martin as Assoc. Dean of Admissions
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The University of Chicago Graduate School of Business last week announced the upcoming departure of Don Martin, Associate Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid. After Dean Martin's ten years of devoted and distinguished service to the Chicago GSB, identifying a satisfactory replacement has been a challenge for the school.
Kaplan Declares Early End to New Venture Challenge
Male Enhancement Product Named "Clear Winner"
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Professor Edward Kaplan announced yesterday that the winning team of the 2004 New Venture Challenge has been selected. After receiving executive summaries from each of the 23 competing teams, Kaplan was all but certain that he had found a winner.
Entire Faculty Becomes Fund of Hedge Funds, Moves to the Caymans
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On February 20, MAR/Week reported the formation of AXIOM, a Cayman-based $250 million managed currency futures fund run by University of Chicago economics professors (and John Bates Clark medalists) Steven Levitt and Kevin Murphy. The following day, the entire faculty of the GSB voted to follow suit.
The Inessential Question
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Recently Dean Ted Snyder of the University of Chicago Graduate School of Business asked the members of the GSB community "How do we become the best looking business school in the world on all dimensions?" If you ask me, the answer seems pretty simple: Kick out all the quant jocks and bring in the movie stars.
Steroid Scandal Surrounds GSB Part-time Club: Male Synchronized Swimming
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The once proud team, Dolphins in the Wild, withdrew from the rest of the male Synchronized Swimming season after accusations surfaced that its team members had been using steroids to enhance their performance. The team had taken the GSB to the top of the water performance arena, only to have its wet dreams of victory crushed as rumors of drug use emerged.
Vicious Circle of Money Laundering Uncovered at Gargoyle Cafe
Faculty Hedge Fund Losses at Center of Crime Ring
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Faculty and administration are scrambling today to cover up the ugly reality that student's hard-earned lunch money is being funneled into offshore accounts to cover losses incurred by faculty-run hedge funds. The money laundering activity was uncovered by alert sandwich-maker Maria Vargas, who stumbled upon damnning evidence of the operation when cleaning out a back room at the Cafe over the spring break.
Thaler fesses up - markets were efficient all along
20 year experiment in persuasion comes to an end
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In a stunning confession that rocked the world of economics, University of Chicago economist Richard Thaler has admitted that his long-standing criticism of the efficient markets hypothesis was actually just an experiment in the art of persuasion. Twenty years ago, he and a grad student, Werner De Bondt, wrote a paper called "Does the Stock Market Overreact?" just to see if they could convince economists of almost anything.
Don Martin's True Plans Revealed
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Recently, students were heartbroken to learn of the imminent departure of Dean of Admissions Don Martin, a GSB legend whose congratulatory telephone calls touched many lives. "Hello! This is Don Martin of the GSB! Congratulations," Don would say to thousands of ecstatic admits over the course of his illustrious career.
GSB Ranked Number 30 in Surprise Poll
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A recently released poll found scrawled on the bottom of a napkin shows the University Of Chicago GSB ranked number 30 amongst the top 100 business schools in the United States.
BARBETTA ASSASSINATED! BRIGGS INCARCERATED!
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Chicago, IL - Shots rocked the Quads yesterday as Graduate Council Chair Vincenzo Barbetta was gunned down in full view of 37 witnesses on the steps of Stuart Hall at 12:27pm. Barbetta was pronounced dead upon arrival at University of Chicago Hospitals at 12:53pm.
CMSG To Buy FATG
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GSB - April 1, 2004: In a bizarre twist of events, the Corporate Management and Strategy Group (NYSE: CMSG) made an unsolicited bid to buy the Financial Analysis and Treasury Group (NASDAQ: FATG) in an all-cash deal. CMSG will pay $3.50 for the assets of FATG and also assume its $2.26 debt. If FATG Co-Chairs accept the offer, the deal is expected to be approved by the regulatory authorities.
Winter Quarter Fantasy Class Participation Results Announced
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With the conclusion of the winter quarter, the final results of the GSB Fantasy Class Participation League have been tabulated and verified. Leagues were established for Marketing Strategy (37000) and Investments (35000). The top three teams in each league will be recognized, but will receive no monetary reward in accordance with the University's strict anti-gambling guidelines.
Distinguished Speaker Series Out. Indicted Speaker Series In.
From the boardroom to the Big House, former execs will share tips with GSB students
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With the number of clean corporate officers dwindling rapidly, Dean Snyder announced this week that the Distinguished Speaker Series is losing potential speakers faster than Martha can embroider her khaki prison standards. Whether they are cutting deals or rolling the dice with a jury, scores of executives are finding themselves on the wrong side of the law-and unavailable for the DSS. As a result, the series is canceled.
Alumni You Should REALLY Know
Michael James Madigan - AXP1
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1. What was your area of concentration at the GSB? I was in the Asian executive MBA program, so I did not get a concentration. I took whatever classes the administration deemed necessary for my personal development.
Report from Spring Break - Distant Distinguished Speakers
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What did you do for Spring Break? Continue that elusive search for a job in whatever city you want to live? Take a trip to Costa Rica? Maybe the Dominican Republic? I doubt if anyone can top the experience had by the 11 GSB folks that headed to Las Vegas. Let me remind you that usually "What happens in Las Vegas, Stays in Las Vegas". But this information was too juicy to follow the rules.
Investment Banking Group To Extend Bank Week To Bank Year
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As the on-campus recruiting process for summer internships winds down, the IBG is looking at new alternatives to the current process in order to enhance the class of 2006's recruiting experience. Many ideas were considered and all of them attempted to increase the students' exposure to investment bankers.
IBG to acquire a Ferrari Enzo
IBG's winning formula for changing the stereotype about the GSB
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From highly reliable sources, Chicago Business has learnt that the Investment Banking Group (IBG) has put forward a proposal to the Dean of Students Affair office for buying a 2004 Ferrari Enzo for IBG members. The Enzo is considered one of the most desirable and expensive cars in the US, with a steep price tag of about $653,000.