GSB News Articles
GSB to Relocate Campus to South Beach
School Converts to 'Party School' Format, Names Will Smith's 'Miami' as Official Theme Song
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In a surprise press release issued today, Chicago GSB Dean Edward A. Snyder announced that the GSB would relocate its U.S. campus from Hyde Park to South Beach, Florida. The announcement comes on the heels of the GSB's recent decision to relocate its European campus from Barcelona to London.
"Fama-French" Model Renamed "Fama-Freedom" Model
Political Correctness Comes to Financial Economics
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First it was the fries. Now, even modern portfolio theory has endured the wrath of legislators. In a stunning victory for the forces of truth, justice and the American way, the Fama-French 3-factor model has been renamed the Fama-Freedom 3-factor model. The change is a follow up to the brilliantly orchestrated 2003 name change of "French Fries" to "Freedom Fries" in the House of Representatives cafeteria.
Stacey Kole's Coffee Hour Changed to Tequila Shot Hour
GSB Students Drunk, Puking
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Stacey Kole's weekly get-together for students and school administrators just a got a lot more interesting. From now on, coffee dispensers will be replaced by shot glasses, salt, and a "whole lotta" cheap tequila. "We wanted to turn it up a notch," said Kole, Dean of the Full-time Program.
Congress Accuses GSB Students of Taking Steroids
Pumping Iron at the GSB
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In a dramatic widening of the US Congress investigations of steroids in Baseball, the committee will now investigate the potential use of specific brain-enhancing steroids. The news came to light after an unnamed senior executive of Paklan educational services tipped off the government investigators that the corporation had sold the steroids to eager potential students wanting to improve their GMAT score and business school applications.
ChiBus Editors Under Impression People Actually Read ChiBus
Idealistic ChiBus Editors Easily Misled
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In a shocking report published by a Congressional investigative committee, it was revealed that the Chicago Business staff justify the time they spend on the school newspaper on the belief that Chicago GSB students actually read the paper. This questionable theory raised eyebrows by investigators who themselves were former students at the school.