Booth to Update Its Events Policy

Harmesh Bhambra ‘16

Harmesh Bhambra '16

Harmesh Bhambra '16

As part of Booth’s bi-annual events policy review, ChiBus has obtained previously unseen minutes of the most recent Dean’s Student Life Committee meeting. The names of the four committee members have been changed to preserve anonymity.

 

Date: April 1st, 2015

Location: J.Parker Rooftop Bar, The Lincoln Hotel, Chicago

 

Fran Barilla (FB): Isn’t the view amazing? I can see the ocean!

[Long pause]

Casey Cole (CC): So, we haven’t addressed the policy on alcohol advertising in several years. I table a motion to allow advertising of alcohol in Booth media to strengthen our image as a progressive and evolving institution. What are your thoughts?

FB: Another Long Island please!

Davis Steve (DS): I am staunchly against this motion. Alcohol reduced my undergrad GPA by 0.01 points. I still bear those scars.

Jane Jaggers (JJ): Students, however, believe that this initiative will support their recruitment efforts. One student mentioned, “I feel that the policy has affected my recruitment success. Everytime I say to recruiters that frosty beverages are available, I am edged out of the crop circle. Recruiters have no idea what frosty beverages are. They think I’m weird!” There is no legitimate reason for Booth having a different policy than other business schools.

Everytime I say to recruiters that frosty beverages are available, I am edged out of the crop circle. They think I’m weird!
— Anonymous student

DS: This proposal is the latest in the line of idiotic ideas. It started to go downhill after we first admitted MBA students.

Frosty beverage, handsome?

Frosty beverage, handsome?

FB: Baby are you down, down, down, down, down.

CC: We should think of this as a broader opportunity to liberalize our whole events policy; to focus not just on alcohol, but also event locations, helping Booth to open up to a new range of students. Have your heard of the new CTA policy?

JJ: No. What is it?

CC: Boothies can potentially hire a train from around $1800 anytime and many of the available trains are on the red line, keeping any mischief underground. Excuse the pun.

FB: Cheaper than that Gleacher Center shack downtown. I’m in!

DS: Alcohol, and now trains! I fear we are opening a Pandora’s Box. This is a university wide policy, not just a Booth policy. And we don’t want to be like Wharton; their events are totally inappropriate.

CC: Have you been to the Wharton parties?

[Long pause]

FB: Didn’t Frank Sinatra say, “Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy?”

CC: Finally, some sense!

CC, DS, JJ (collectively): Cheers to that!

The author maybe possibly drinks frosty beverages.